Home Away From: How do I tell people about my illness?

madamemigraine:

in response to http://justmakethepainstop.tumblr.com/’s question.

One of the hardest things that I face, living with chronic pain is explaining my condition to other people. To most of the world, pain is a temporary inconvenience, not a life-long condition. It can be hard to understand and…

I’m currently holding back tears from the pain I’m in. I can relate to this so much. The past 5 years I’ve been dealing with health issues involving my stomach but I started having chronic migraines every day for a year and a half now. I missed tons of school towards the end of high school. Last summer was mostly spent sleeping or holding my head everywhere I went. When I started college, I couldn’t physically operate. I’d fail all my classes because my head hurt too much to concentrate. I ended up leaving a good university to go to community college and take less credits and more simple classes. I skipped all my classes tons of times because I physically was unable to go to class. I’d even lose feeling in half my face sometimes while experiencing so much pain from my migraine. I feel like I’ve lost so many opportunities. My GPA and everything is not what it should be. I probably would’ve been much further in life if everything wasn’t wrong with me. Now, I’d settle for a 2 year degree if it could land me a job that I could live in a small apartment all my life with. I need something stress free. My health is preventing me from going further than that and as far as I can see, it’s only getting worse. I wish people understood. I wish my parents didn’t dismiss my problems half the time and act like it’s not as bad as I say it is. I don’t throw up from my migraines no matter how bad they get, so I never really get relief. Sometimes my migraines last for days or weeks straight without stopping for even a minute. The most I ever throw up is sometimes a little in my mouth. Only once have I ever been hospitalized from throwing up 25 times during a migraine, but most of the time I don’t. My mom and SO many people I’ve told about my problem have dismissed me and told me that it’s not a migraine if I don’t throw up. The neurologists said otherwise. All the doctors said it’s migraines. There’s no other explanation, and besides, who cares? It hurts. It hurts bad. The name of it isn’t what matters, the pain is. I like when I see other people with the same problems because I can relate to them. This post made me feel like I’m not the only one experiencing this pain right now. Even though physically that doesn’t make me feel any better, mentally I know I’ll get through this just like you can too. Just, Hopefully I can sleep tonight.

 

when girls act like they’re models. I don’t know, it shouldn’t bother me because it doesn’t really affect anyone at all, but I get so annoyed at fake people. Stop posting in your tumblr descriptions and on your facebook about me’s that you’re a model. When someone’s friends take pictures of them and then they edit them with tons of effects and the blur tool, they’re not a model. When someone has to go around ASKING people to model for them, they’re most likely not a model. Having many pictures of yourself doesn’t make you a model. If you have a large, professional portfolio, then you can call yourself a model. I was one of 50-60 girls on the entire east coast of USA that was even invited to a private audition of America’s Next Top Model in NYC. I went to it in March. They picked the semi-finalists for the show from that audition. I’ve been closer to modeling than most of the “models” that I know who act like they’re a model. Even with that experience, I wouldn’t dare to call myself a real model. I’m no model at all.

Calling yourself a model on the internet is just a poor way of making yourself seem better than other people and quite frankly, no one cares.